"...God never gives us more than we can bear"

Now has been a long time since I wrote that last entry... What can I say? We continue talking, he continues saying awesome things to me like: "Whoever becomes my brother in law will have found the perfect woman", "I don't know what I like the most; your cruelty or your enigmatic smile", "I prefer 5 minutes with you before dying than water in the desert", "Can you see that you are perfect? and you are also unique in a superlative way" and many, many beautiful things like these...
I truly have found my Phantom, I am almost sure he is the one to become my "one and only true love"...
I didn't write before because it's always the same story and also because I was on a trip while reading a novel... "Life After Phantom: Opera Erotica" by Samantha
The novel is about Erik, the Phantom, after renouncing to Christine when she went with Raoul, a different and unexpected ending to Erik's story. There are some awesome quotations that I would love to use in this entry...(The following quotes come from the novel by Samantha "Life Afer Phantom: Opera Erotica" )

"The daily pain of knowing he would never be with Christine was hard enough to endure"

"I am nothing more than an ignorant man trying to hold onto the woman of my dreams"

"Remember that God never gives us more than we can bear"

Those are just a little taste of the whole novel amazing phrases... They fit my story, totally, let me explain now...
I am sure Erik was feeling worse than bad when Christine (his true love) went with Raoul, I would not know what to do if something happened to my Phantom , who is not my "true love" yet, so Erik... poor Erik...
About holding onto your dreams, your dream love, suits me the best, I am willing to fight, willing to suffer, willing to bear with unbearable sorrow and willing to reach my dream... someday... I will be HIS one and only!
The last quote was such a reminder for me, as a believer... And I think it is true... God gives us what we are able to reach, although it may look impossible, just as mine, God makes us deal with it because he knows it is possible, he knows we can do it... So, in my case, it is difficult to become HIS love, but not impossible...
I will finish this entry with one of my Phantom's phrases, that I recently found out was from a Nat King Cole's song called "When I fall in love"

"When I fall in love, it will be forever; or I'll not fall in love..."

Phantom's Lady*

Something's starting right now...

We hugged, talked, hugged again, we had a picture taken together…I am talking to him right now… He said he adored me and about me he also said: “Like perfection personified?... Picture this; beautiful, intelligent, sportsgirl, ballerina, smiley, emo, “fresa” and PERFECT!!”… I am sure that I am falling, the question now is: Will he fall for me too? Will we find true love together?... A lot of things tell me that we will somehow be together but there are a few little obstacles though… We are many years apart but I believe that if I show myself just as I am, without pretending things, without masks, he will fall for me too… At least this is what he has said since I know him…

He feels something, I am sure, otherwise he would not say all those incredible and unbelievable things… He always says he likes my cheek dimples and my smile, he says he does care about me, he always listens to me, when we talk we always see directly into the other’s eyes… He said he adored his little sister (and he says he does not say that to many people), he would keep me in his house if I was alone, he loves bothering me (as he said... If I bother someone, that means I love him/her)... There has to be something waiting to grow into something bigger here…

"I don’t know how, I don't when but I know something’s starting right now, watch and you’ll see someday I’ll be… Part of his world!!" (The Little Mermaid)

I’m sure something is starting right now… About Raoul? Those 2 guys belong to the past, I was not falling, I did not really like any of them, I might find another Raoul in these years, but until then I will not think of anyone apart from my Phantom… He continues impressing me every single day; he has woken me up with texts twice until now, he alone can make my song take flight and THIS Music of the Night is not over yet!

"Ideals are not dreams, they are lifestyles..."

That's right, I will keep on going on, keep on trying to reach that unreachable star, because "I'll always feel no more than halfway real till I hear you sing.. once more!!!" (LND)... Phantom's Lady*

"Choices" are deceiving...Never give up

I really think I have fallen for MY Erik, he feels something too… He told me “Thank you”… “For what? ”… “For existing”… WOAH! I was totally in shock when he told me that… I’ll keep on fighting, no doubt, but there’s a little problem…
You see, I met these two guys (I’ll call them Raoul from now…), Raoul is my age and he is great, he’s one of my best friends and I care about him, he does too… I don’t know why but I think I’m starting to like him, maybe it’s because my love with “Erik” is banned right now or maybe because THE right time to tell Erik about my feelings is still a little bit far… (2 years from now…)

I believe that my out of this world man, my real passion and my “may become” true love is with Erik, but my earthbound caring and attraction (NOT love, for sure) is with Raoul, just as Christine I am in the middle and I don’t know what to do… Choices are sometimes deceiving... You have to make choices and as you choose, you renounce to many other possibilities...

•Choose ≈ Renounce • “Killing is choosing; one life over another” (Batman: The Dark Knight) … so…Living is renouncing; one person over another…

I know I prefer Erik a million times over Raoul, but I still feel something for Raoul… Waiting is difficult, very difficult. Do you ever feel you have made the wrong decision? What would have happened if you ever did it differently? It has happened to me, it is happening right now and if I give Raoul a shoot I may be unconsciously renouncing to Erik and of course I don’t want to do that… Erik is …HIM!! I mean, I haven’t met anyone like him and I don’t want to give up on trying…

“If I give up, I’ll not get up but if I keep on trying there’s hope” Nick Vujicic

Nick Vujicic is a living example of the Impossible dream he says: “Never, never give up”… I think I’ll do that, I’ll try to renounce to Raoul and think that “there’s always hope”… There’s the hope to find true love with Erik and you know what?... I’m NOT giving up!... Phantom’s Lady*