Help me make the Music of the Night...
All of my most secret dreams... somehow set free!!



Monday, May 31, 2010

Something's starting right now...

We hugged, talked, hugged again, we had a picture taken together…I am talking to him right now… He said he adored me and about me he also said: “Like perfection personified?... Picture this; beautiful, intelligent, sportsgirl, ballerina, smiley, emo, “fresa” and PERFECT!!”… I am sure that I am falling, the question now is: Will he fall for me too? Will we find true love together?... A lot of things tell me that we will somehow be together but there are a few little obstacles though… We are many years apart but I believe that if I show myself just as I am, without pretending things, without masks, he will fall for me too… At least this is what he has said since I know him…

He feels something, I am sure, otherwise he would not say all those incredible and unbelievable things… He always says he likes my cheek dimples and my smile, he says he does care about me, he always listens to me, when we talk we always see directly into the other’s eyes… He said he adored his little sister (and he says he does not say that to many people), he would keep me in his house if I was alone, he loves bothering me (as he said... If I bother someone, that means I love him/her)... There has to be something waiting to grow into something bigger here…
"I don’t know how, I don't when but I know something’s starting right now, watch and you’ll see someday I’ll be… Part of his world!!" (The Little Mermaid)

I’m sure something is starting right now… About Raoul? Those 2 guys belong to the past, I was not falling, I did not really like any of them, I might find another Raoul in these years, but until then I will not think of anyone apart from my Phantom… He continues impressing me every single day; he has woken me up with texts twice until now, he alone can make my song take flight and THIS Music of the Night is not over yet!
"Ideals are not dreams, they are lifestyles..."

That's right, I will keep on going on, keep on trying to reach that unreachable star, because "I'll always feel no more than halfway real till I hear you sing.. once more!!!" (LND)... Phantom's Lady*

Monday, May 10, 2010

"Choices" are deceiving...Never give up

I really think I have fallen for MY Erik, he feels something too… He told me “Thank you”… “For what? ”… “For existing”… WOAH! I was totally in shock when he told me that… I’ll keep on fighting, no doubt, but there’s a little problem…
You see, I met these two guys (I’ll call them Raoul from now…), Raoul is my age and he is great, he’s one of my best friends and I care about him, he does too… I don’t know why but I think I’m starting to like him, maybe it’s because my love with “Erik” is banned right now or maybe because THE right time to tell Erik about my feelings is still a little bit far… (2 years from now…)

I believe that my out of this world man, my real passion and my “may become” true love is with Erik, but my earthbound caring and attraction (NOT love, for sure) is with Raoul, just as Christine I am in the middle and I don’t know what to do… Choices are sometimes deceiving... You have to make choices and as you choose, you renounce to many other possibilities...
Choose ≈ Renounce • “Killing is choosing; one life over another” (Batman: The Dark Knight) … so…Living is renouncing; one person over another…
I know I prefer Erik a million times over Raoul, but I still feel something for Raoul… Waiting is difficult, very difficult. Do you ever feel you have made the wrong decision? What would have happened if you ever did it differently? It has happened to me, it is happening right now and if I give Raoul a shoot I may be unconsciously renouncing to Erik and of course I don’t want to do that… Erik is …HIM!! I mean, I haven’t met anyone like him and I don’t want to give up on trying…
“If I give up, I’ll not get up but if I keep on trying there’s hope” Nick Vujicic

Nick Vujicic is a living example of the Impossible dream he says: “Never, never give up”… I think I’ll do that, I’ll try to renounce to Raoul and think that “there’s always hope”… There’s the hope to find true love with Erik and you know what?... I’m NOT giving up!... Phantom’s Lady*