"Isn't there any Erik yet?"

I am feeling like writing here today...Like a week ago he asked me... "Isn't there any Erik in your life yet?" and I said "Only you..." ... Just kidding I answered "No, not yet :( "
A lot of things have changed a little bit... He is somehow diferent now from how he was on vacations, maybe that is normal, he can not be the same with everyone around... I am sure he feels something for me, not the same as the other girls, but not sure about what will he think when I finally tell him what I feel... I want to be his desired Christine (as he said)...
I wish I was 18 today so I could actually tell him... As I am not 18, I have to wait and see what happens with this feeeling, it may grow and turn into something stronger, it may run dry and stay just as an idea of my "perfect man"... I do not know, but he has totally changed my life; he has changed the way I think about everything, he has showed me that "thought" can lead you anywhere you want, can help you accomplish everything... He is just... HIM...

"Without ideals human evolution would be inexplicable"José Ingenieros

I will keep on dreaming my impossible dreams, and keep on trying when my arms are to weary to reach the unreachable star!! No doubt about it!!


I edited this picture, it is Christine (top left), Erik (bottom right), MY Erik (bottom left), Me, and some of my favorite Phantom quotations...(It has been labeled because if someone known sees this I would probably die...)
According to my obssesion with The Phantom of the Opera and all of that, there are some lyrics down here, Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote the song and it was actually used twice... once for "Learn to be Lonely" and the other one for "No one would listen" (I preffer the second one, sang by Gerard Buttler (Erik, The Phantom) because HE told me about it, was it a subliminal message? haha maybe...but it was a "bang" for both of us) Check them out! Thank you for reading... Phantom's Lady*

LEARN TO BE LONELY// NO ONE WOULD LISTEN
Child of the wilderness// Shamed into solitude
Born into emptiness// Shunned by the multitude
Learn to be lonely// I learned to listen
Learn to find your way in darkness//In my dark, my heart heard music
Who will be there for you, // I longed to teach the world
Comfort and care for you? // Rise up an reach the world
Learn to be lonely// No one would listen
Learn to be your one companion// I alone could hear the music
Never dreamed out in the world// Then at last a voice in the gloom
There are arms to hold you// Seemed to cry “I hear you”
You've always known // I hear your fears
Your heart was on its own //Your torment and your tears
So laugh in your loneliness // She saw my loneliness
Child of the wilderness// Shared in my emptiness
Learn to be lonely// No one would listen
Learn how to love life that is lived alone// No one but her heard as the outcast hears

Love Never Dies... Trauma

Amazing things have happened until now… Do you remember MY Phantom business?? Well He adopted me as his little sister, he told me that he cared about me, that I was special, that he had been missing me and many amazing and unbelievable things …

I really think that he feels something more than just … I can’t say it, as I said our relationship is banned in a certain way… I am the real me when we are together I have never pretended something I am not and I have no plans for doing that…
The “Love Never Dies” (LND from now) album was given me by my cousin, I have to say that it is a real TRAUMA or obssesion, however you want to call that... I lent the LND album to… him… he liked it a lot, it is kind of an obsession for both of us, we always talk about it, it has been like a strand for us because I think our bond is bigger now, and as I am his little sister now he says he is going to bring me THE PHANTOM when he goes to England, we continue joking every time we chat and we also talk about more serious things and aspects we both like… LND is mainly about that “hidden love” between Christine and Erik, that love that was real and remains as an important situation, because they actually have a son, the story is about how Erik confronts Christine again and their REAL LOVE sparkles and comes alive again and stronger than ever, maybe because of their son or maybe because they were meant to be with each other. LND is amazing just as the first Phantom (but indeed Phantom is way still better), Andrew Lloyd Webber is a music genius, an Angel of Music, and the lyrics and rhymes are also very good.
Erik was completely in love and obsessed with Christine, and I personally think that Christine had always wanted to be with him, but in the first part (The Phantom of the Opera, P.T.O.) she is scared and frightened by the passion of Erik’s love, that’s why she chose Raoul and in LND she finally sees that her true love was always Erik and at the end when Erik has finally reached what he had always been fighting for, Christine dies and it is all over except love, because love never dies…
He told me that Lloyd Webber used the main song of LND in another of his musicals and later he adapted it to fit the Phantom’s sequel, I already knew that but I had never listened to it, he also told me that the song LND was kind of a response for “The heart is slow to learn” (which was the first title for the composition). We can compare the lyrics down here and as you read them I would like you to choose your favorite or the one that fits you better…

The heart is slow to learn// Love never dies

The heart is slow to learn //Who knows when love begins?
The heart is slow to learn // Who knows what makes it start?
These feelings that I feel // One day it’s simply there
Are foolish but they’re real // Alive inside your heart
I'm wise enough to see this love will never be // It slips into your thoughts it infiltrates your soul
An each day is like the last when living in the past// It takes you by surprise, then ceases full control
I know it's mad and you won't return // Try to deny it and try to protest
But then as I have said //But love won’t let you go
The heart is slow to learn/ / Once you’ve been possessed
I'll never love as I have loved you //Love never dies, love never falters
Why is love cruel I wish I knew // Once it has spoken love is yours
Say what you will it doesn't matter // Love never fails, love never alters
Until I die there's only you // Hearts may get broken, love endures
Until I die there's only you // Hearts may get broken, love endures
The heart is slow to learn// And soon as you submit
The heart is slow to learn //Surrender flesh and bone
You'd think there would be a way // That love takes on a life
To shut out yesterday // Much bigger than your own
Perhaps if I just thought // It uses you at will
Of all the times we fought // It drives you to despair
I'd try to let us know there’s still no letting go // And forces you to feel more joy than you can bear
I know it's mad and you won't return // Love gives you pleasure and love brings you pain
But then as I have said the heat is slow to learn //And yet when both are gone, love will still remain
I'll never love as I have loved you //Love never dies, love never falters
Why is love cruel I wish I knew //Once it has spoken love is yours
Say what you will it doesn't matter // Love never dies, love never alters
Until I die there’s only you // Hearts may get broken, love endures
Until I die there’s only you//Hearts may get broken, love lives on

“The heart is…” is a little bit depressing don’t you think so? I prefer “LND”, but “The heart…” has got key points of the “love thing” going on, it says that you can only love one person (Until I die there’s only you) but I think that the real love is not “foolish” and “cruel” I believe that as “LND” says “It forces you to feel more joy than you can bear”, I really want to know the truth about love, this is my point of view so far I wish I could figure out the rest… I will wait until true love knocks to my door and I will open the door because if not my true love will cross the street and he will get run over by a trailer and his blood will rise up to my window and that would not be nice… I adore his sense of humor, he made up that hilarious story, he is just as sarcastic, sadistic and ironic as me, so that is great too…
LND has changed my point of view about what love is, I mean true love, and it has made our bond stronger, I am very happy in this moment but sometimes depression comes over here because the scholar period (yeah, I am a student) is close to finish. We are both obssesed with LND. I will write another time soon… Phantom’s Lady

P.S.: And come what may I SWEAR somehow, some way I’ll hear you sing once more!!!